difficult-conversations

# Difficult Conversations Skill

A structured framework for approaching challenging workplace conversations including conflicts, performance issues, sensitive feedback, and emotionally charged discussions.

## When to Use This Skill

- Preparing for a challenging conversation with a colleague
- Addressing performance issues with a team member
- Delivering difficult feedback to a peer or manager
- Navigating conflict between team members
- Discussing sensitive topics (salary, promotion, termination)
- Handling emotional or defensive reactions
- Following up after difficult discussions

## Core Framework: Preparation-Delivery-Followup

Difficult conversations succeed or fail based on three phases:

### Phase 1: Preparation (Before)

**Purpose:** Set yourself up for a productive conversation

1. **Clarify the Issue**
   - What specifically happened? (Observable facts only)
   - What is the impact? (On you, team, work)
   - What do you need to change?

2. **Check Your Emotions**
   - What am I feeling? Why?
   - Am I calm enough to have this conversation?
   - What might trigger me during this conversation?

3. **Consider Their Perspective**
   - How might they see this situation?
   - What constraints or pressures might they have?
   - What do they care about that I can acknowledge?

4. **Define Your Goal**
   - What outcome do I want?
   - What is the minimum acceptable result?
   - What am I willing to compromise on?

### Phase 2: Delivery (During)

**Purpose:** Have the conversation effectively

1. **Open Neutrally**
   - Start with facts, not judgments
   - Express intent to understand, not accuse
   - Create psychological safety

2. **Share Your Perspective**
   - Describe behavior, not character
   - Focus on impact, not intention
   - Use "I" statements, not "you always"

3. **Listen Actively**
   - Ask clarifying questions
   - Acknowledge their viewpoint
   - Look for shared interests

4. **Seek Resolution**
   - Propose specific actions
   - Agree on next ste